Loneliness

What a strange start to the semester it's been. So many things are different. I live in a single dorm, my tonsils are gone, and I feel like my relationships with people are changing. Not just at school- everywhere. It's crazy. Today was not a bad day per se, but it was odd.
I worked on theory with Rachel after choir, then went to dinner with her, then took another round of sodexho with Megan and Esther. After that, we hit up Target for me to get Cosmo. [Dignity, always dignity.]
After dinner, there was the girls gathering in my hallway. We had some pizza and chatted for a while, then parted ways. I had no homework, so I read my script for the show I was recently cast in: UP. [Everyone on campus and nearby should definitely come see it- I play a sixteen year-old pregnant girl!] Now, I'm sitting in my dorm, just..sitting. I was sitting staring a the ceiling for good ten minutes. In silence. Just thinking. Thinking about my life. What am I doing? That is all I am going to say about it, but what am I doing? And what have I done? Why has my life turned out like this?
Let's just say, this week is Regret Week. I have just been regretting so much, and it is just hitting me now. I'm not an emotional mess, I promise. But come on, what is up with me? I think that at this stage of my life, I need to get on track. I can't just let other people influence me. I need adventure, and I need it now.
My best friend from back home, Sara, and I were talking last night, and I decided that it would be good for both of us to take a few day trip and just have an adventure. Maybe not even talk to people from home. Just be with each other and figure out ourselves. Take a car, and just drive. Maybe drive aimlessly and stop after 4 hours. Then figure out where we are, figure out what to do, and just..be.
Be.
I like that word. I wish I could just "Be" sometimes. Like that quote I love..
"Sing. Be. Live. Be." I need to really apply that to my life more now. I need it.
Anyway, back to adventures with Sara- I want to just meet people. And talk to them for a few days. Just get to know them. Remember those days forever, and just have that in my mind so I can always look back.
This is probably the oddest blog post ever. I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense.
Let's just say I'm confused. Yeah.

And it just dawned on me that the title of this is "Loneliness". When I started this entry, I just automatically entered it. I wonder why.

Song listened to while writing: Listen