Onward and UPward

Wow. I can't believe UP is over already..
I feel like we JUST started. I hate this feeling- it's terrible. I feel accomplished as hell, yeah, but..I just want it back. I know Becky made a huge impact on all of us, and I felt sooo connected to the entire cast. I knew Danessa, Jacob, and Shane previously, but I got alot closer to them. I knew JP from choir, but he always saw me in my most cheery moments backstage when I had just done a scene and was flying on happy brain juices. (ew). Someone I will never forget, is Jessica. She's in the graduate program here, and she just decided to jump in with acting so she can make it to film. She's 31 I think, and that is such a great thing for her to do! I mean, she's going for her dream at 31! How courageous is that?! Damn. I hope to be like her some day. She was so sweet all the time, and worked harder than all of us to make sure she did well. And let me tell you, she exceeded my expectations considering she'd never acted before. Wow. She was a stunner.
I just texted Danessa and said I missed her already, and my goodness I do. Before the show, I'd have girl talk with Danessa and Jessica, and that I will never forget. It felt like we were old friends just having regular conversation. I love them both so much.
And you know what?
So much of my life was fucked up before this show, to say the least, and..I may be out of that. I think it's over. I think this experience needed to happen so I could get over some stuff and get over a freshman year bump. I've decided I won't be transferring ever, but waiting til after college to move, adding a theatre minor, and..making some personal decisions. I'm finally in a place where I really don't need anybody else but myself. The fact that I'm so stable right now is just showing me that I can be great when I work really hard. This whole show expresses that. I worked my ass off because I could NOT let anyone down. I think it showed too. The first show, the audience thought I was hilarious, and I savored the sound of their laughter when I was in between lines. I loved that they were sooo into the show. When there were plot twists, they'd react SO big. When Michael burns the chair, someone behind Becky said "Oh god, no!" And when Michael told Maria that he loves her, I heard SO many gasps it was crazy. I loved every minute of that show.

I wish I could go back and do it over and over.
I love the story, I love the characters, I love the feeling.

I love UP.