Man, She's a Sexy Bitch.

What a night.

Last night I went to Bar Fly nightclub with some of my favorite girls!! Emily came up from Northfield again and drove half of the group. We arrived and not too many people were there, and it was FUN. It started off slow, but we had a big group so it was fun.

So basically, we got hit on a lot. Some were creeps, some were drunk gays, and some were mostly sober and straight! Haha so it was all fun. We all looked super cute too. We hung Sarah's nylons from the door hinge to the bathroom just to leave our mark! Unfortunately someone took them down though..

Emily and I were up til about three and she left by nine. I had rehearsal 10-12 then 1-5 today and I am SORE. My feet and ankles KILL. I twisted the other ankle in the character shoes I was wearing. The stupid floor in there got slippery so my ankle slipped out from under me. DUMB.
So right now just in my room icing my ankle..hopefully getting Punch with Sarah this evening..
Then maybe catching up on homework. And watching Thumbelina by myself. I need alone time I think. I've had a weird up and down week. Mostly just weird changes happening in my life. Nothing too drastic. I'm excited to go home though. SO soon. AHHHH!


4 shows, countless choir concerts, and 500 cups of bubble tea later..
I've made it through my freshman year of college.
[almost.]

I'll Sing

So it's Wednesday. We had Easter break last Wednesday through Monday, and now I have returned for 3 more weeks of school. I can't believe it's almost over! It's crazy. I'm super excited to get a break, but I'm going to miss my friends like crazy!! AHHH! And the musical has helped me become really close with some people too which basically rocks.

Over break I hung out at home alot with Lola. I miss that dog so much when I'm gone- it's pathetic really. I had a date with Spencer which absolutely rocked, caught up with some friends, but basically just gave my body a break.
Which is why I think I have a migraine today. I've been running on adrenaline sine about February and when I finally got a break, my body crashed. It just wants to sleep all day! Bummer, I can't. Today was my super easy day though. I haven't done a lick of homework, and ya know what, I'm not gonna until tonight when I absolutely have to. So HA.
In the last 24 hours I've had two rounds of music therapy. Not legit music therapy- I wish- but my own variation. Last night I was practicing piano and then just laid my hands out on random keys and played. From there I played for about 5 straight minutes of just random chords. Not even legit the whole time. I'd have something really dissonant playing with the left hand, then something light and delicate on the top with the right. It was so beautiful. And I just closed my eyes and played. It was amazing. I felt so relaxed afterwards. I don't know what made me need that so much, but hell, it worked, so I'm not complaining.

Today I have a terrible migraine, as I previously mentioned, and I just started listening to my old choir music. Right now listening to Abendlied, which of course rocks. And previously I was listening to good ol' Earth Song. Next I might listen to Selah. Speaking of Earth Song and Selah, another tattoo might be in the making. I thought of a totally original place for it too. So, maybe a birthday present to myself this summer? Eh, eh? We'll seeeeee!

Ooh. Now I'm listening to Seal Lullaby. So calming. Wow.
I don't know how I'll get through rehearsal today. It's a full run-through again, and my ankle already hurts, but now I have this S.O.B migraine. Gah. And I have a feeling that once I'm out and about, this migraine will the the kind that makes me burst into tears. Uh ohhh. Don't make me sad!!

I should meditate or something.
Too bad I don't know how.
I need my very own Yoda.

No. Strings. Attached.

Time to get over this bitch.

Plath, you bitch.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Day O' Singin'!

Today I get to participate in the Choral Arts Finale in the cities! We at CSP are hosting, so we get to hear a bunch of audition high school choirs, do some mass choir stuff with them, and best of all, sing in ORCHESTRA HALL! I'm so excited I could blow up. I cannot wait to sing in that space. That is one thing I've always wanted to do.
And tonight I get to!! YAY!

But..off to God of Carnage rehearsal.

More later I'm sure.

Train of Thought for Tuesday

Okay, it is no longer Tuesday, but I wrote this down and never officially blogged it.




Being non-chalant is so much easier. You decide you are, therefore you are.
You don't even know you have any other feelings. It's so much easier.
Being genuinely non-chalant is what I need.
Real "feeling" hurts too much.
My friends say I can't be a robot, but Wall-E still had fun didn't he?
I'm not gonna lie, being alone the last few nights- I've really missed your touch.
Distractions aren't even helping- I hate Princess and the Pea.
Speaking of which, I keep eating frozen peas, and now my teeth are cold.
"It's okay to feel" or so I've been told.
Everything in this room reminds me of you.
Guitar, wall art, iced tea. Yeah even that, it's true.

I wish we had never happened in some ways.
But then I know this fall I would have been mad at myself for days.
I guess what I could say is..
Thank you.
Cheesy, I know.
But believe me it's true.
I don't know what I could have done without you.