Just Take Me Home

I hate being here.

This has been the week of all weeks. I have just been feeling down and blue about being here, and I hate it!! It's such a bummer! I want to be happy, and enjoying my summer, but that just doesn't seem to be happening. And it's not just lack of things to do here- it's lack of people.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and legit say what I'm thinking about "that one person" that isn't here.
Basically, I'm so scared that he's going to come back and not like me anymore. Kate was saying last night about how that's not true, and it's like when you know that there's cake waiting for you at home, and it's been on your mind all day, and you come back and eat it, and it's even better than you imagined.
But..what if it's not? What if he realizes that I'm NOT special, I'm NOT amazing, I'm not someone that he likes more than any other girl he's ever met..he just thinks so because he can't have me. At this rate, I guess I've been able to fool him and myself, but what about when he comes back? He'll be with me, and realize that I'm just..not what he's looking for or something. I'm not..what he was hoping for.

Ugh. What an awful feeling.